When I first heard Katie Perry talking about kissing a girl or whatever, I had to pull over my car and wonder what the world had gone to. The strange thing was radios kept playing it, and for the whole duration of summer 2008, this song could do no wrong. I thought for sure that this would be last time I would ever hear of Katie Perry.

Now here comes Hot and Cold, a song so stupid and insipid that one has to wonder, who the hell wrote this? Was it Barney Benton from Mrs. Mildred's class? How could any reputable record producer bring this into a studio, play it for a company, and think, yeah, I got this. And to my dismay, people are eating this song up. Are we listening to the same thing here? People, are you retarded!



Katie Perry is very easy to love, and you get glimpses of that when she does interviews. She's candid and real, and very charming. But her songs...ugh! People will come out of comas just to tell her to shut the hell up!

Fortunately for her, my opinion matters very little, because her song is doing one hundred weeks on the billboard top 100 and my book has yet to be featured in a newspaper (The Little Boy Story, NewtonLocke.com $15). So, a tip to the hat to you Katie Perry, for proving to us that the tween market yet again, defies reason.

We can hope that she'll never break The Eagle's Greatest Hits or I'll throw away my iPod.

Now, about that stupid guy from Tokio Hotel....(Do they spell Tokio differently in Germany, or is your hair interfering?)